Down To The Wire

So...I think I've texted my four faithful readers, but in case you're wondering the boy still doesnt have my number. I guess my friend was planning on passing it onto him during a meeting this week and he was out sick. But she assured me he'd get it tomorrow "or something." Exact words. And I've learned you cant be pushy when someone's doing you a favor. I wouldn't normally be this anxious but I'll be in LA for about 3-4 weeks which kind of changes things.

Mary gets here Saturday a.m. I haven't been this excited in a LONG time. I can't wait to take on the city. Our tentative plans are as follows: Saturday...stay local & show her around my neighborhood, eat @ Park Chow & game night at my pad (aka our holiday party); Sunday we're meeting Kristy & Marilyn in Berkeley & eating lunch at some fabulous chocolate factory...YES PLEASE. Monday we'll go to Union Square, breakfast at Sears & a full day of shopping. And then Tuesday we'll drive back to Southern Cal.

I went to my first grad school poetry reading. My good friend Ami was published in the magazine Transfer and she also won the fiction award...a huge deal. Josh & I are feelin the competition and we're sure that we'll be featured in the Spring issue.

I had my last class on Monday, but I'm down to one more paper & then I'll officially be done. I should be working on it right now, but I think I'd rather wait until I'm working :) I just can't get down to business and get this thing written. And if anyone is looking for an AMAZING book of short stories to read it's called The Mother Garden by Robin Romm. It is probably one of the best books I've ever read...very clever and frankly honest characters.

It's True What They Say

Just when you stop looking for something, it happens...when you least expect it. You can be out one night with an old girlfriend, telling her how happy you are and how you're getting settled in this new life and that you couldn't imagine things any differently.

And then while at dinner with said friend you meet someone. You find yourself wishing you were ballsy enough to call the restaurant and ask for his number because there was something about the way he was so excited to show you the city that stuck with you over the weekend. And then you lose your nerve and realize you'll never be that ballsy so you give up the idea.

But then your friend calls to say that he wrote her an email asking for your number and everything seems to shift and you start to think well, maybe there is room for one more person...

I wrote this in december and never posted it...

For the past week I've tried to sit down to write a blog, but nothing comes out. I am speechless and can't quite explain what's been going on. I'm not going to superstitious and think that because I'm about to write about how happy I've been, that I'm going to jinx myself.



While I don't understand this newfound happiness, I am delighted. I feel like I'm finally getting to know myself and the city and it all seems like a perfect fit. Most would find that odd since I've barely ventured out and I can't tell one neighborhodd from the next. Or maybe it's because I'm surrounding myself with really genuine optimistic people lately. I guess I don't need to know why or where it all came from, but I should just be thankful that the storms have passed.



I don't know if any of you have had the chance to read Alese's blog yet. It has impacted my life more than I ever thought a stranger could. I never knew her and yet listening to the stories that people shared at her funeral made me realize that I'm not fully living my life.



Her family contacted me yesterday through my blog and I can't figure out the best way to get in touch with them so I decided I'd just continue to write about her life and how many people have been impacted by her electricity. All week I've shifted my thinking and realized how self-absorbed I tend to be. In conversations and emails, I am always focused around my life and what's going on with me. But this week something changed and I found myself wanting to live my life more like Alese.

Moving On & Growing Up

Whenever one of us girls would do something we knew we shouldn't have, my mother would ask us, "What are you, a glutton for punishment?" And to answer that today...Yes I am.

I find myself constantly opening & rehashing conversations and events that I really shouldn't waste time dwelling on because they ended up hurting me in some way. I wish it was only that easy for me to end something as soon as I started to feel hurt or mistreated and not look back.

Ellen recently told a guest on her show that when doors close on us its the universe's way of telling us not to take that path, that for some reason we're not yet aware of, it isn't the way we're supposed to live out our life. And I've carried this thought with me recently and when I begin to dwell or feel sorry for myself, I try to think of her saying that (to me personally of course since we're the best of friends) and I drop it.

So for the sake of my own sanity, I made a decision tonight and because I knew I wouldnt stick to it on my own, I "deleted" them from my (myspace) life. What good is it doing me if it's only continuing to make me upset? Why have I been choosing to reopen this wound when I know I am much better off without this individual in my life?

Maybe Mother does know best and I truly am a glutton for punishment.

It's Already December

My dad called me today just to let me know that they'd bought a Christmas tree. On Thanksgiving he & I walked to the grocery store to buy some last minute items for my cheesecake and I was asking when he thought they'd get one. I thought it was sweet that he remembered that and thought to call me today.

I haven't decorated the tree in years, but when we were growing up us three girls would rummage through the boxes of ornaments and help Mom hang them. I would give anything to be there with her Wednesday as she'll have to decorate the tree by herself (and Bella will probably be under her feet the entire time).

After reading more of Alese's blog (I mentioned this site in my last post), I felt this overwhelming need to be with my family. Or at least let them know that I'm thinking of them.

Almost There

So for the past two days my friend Ami and I have left each other messages about how much fun we had the other night. We're both originally from LA and I think this has been a huge struggle for both of us, especially being away from the ones we love most. It was my first night here where I actually felt like I could just hang and not put work into it (Jen I know you'll understand what I mean by that). I have become such a homebody up here that it's nice to know I have friends close by and it's always a good feeling to make friends in new places. You get that "I've still got it" feeling.

I started excercising a bit (two days this week...a slow start, but still a start). On my latest walk/jog through the park I did a lot of reflecting on the past few months and I'm suddenly in a place where I didnt realize I'd gotten over something. And I know it always happens that way. Something terrible happens and it feels so overwhelming that you can't know for sure when it'll pass and then one day you're out walking and you realize it already did. And it feels good...the best I've felt in months. It feels like I'm completely me again. And it's a reminder that I have a lot of work to do on myself. I seem to struggle in relationships because I lose too much of myself and it's always voluntary. Sure there has to be some compromise, but I get so involved in situations and I always seem to let go of myself for a bit.

In between writing (six) papers tonight, I took a break and stumbled upon the most heart wrenching blog I've ever read. It was started by a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend who lost her life to Hodgkins this past May. She was only 23. The link is www.alesecoco.org. Be prepared. Even if you're not in the mood for something sad, it is an amazing website that has been continued on by her parents. They end every post with a prayer and thank everyone for theirs.

Also, I'm two weeks away from being done with the semester!! A HUGE exciting thing to look forward to. I can't wait to be done with this set of classes. Every time someone asks me how grad school is going, I tell them not-so-good. I'm looking forward to next semester and hoping for a much better experience with brand new teachers. Also, I realized last night that if I quit now, I'll have to start paying back that $20,000 loan...I think I'm reconsidering dropping out based on that alone.

A Really Great Night

Tonight I had a really great night out with friends. Ami, Josh, his gf Cindy & I met at Park Chow for dinner. If you know me, you know this is my FAVORITE SF eatery. I'm completely obsessed with their bleu cheese wedge salad. Mmmmm. We had a couple of drinks, ate dinner & hung out for a few hours...and I was way too happy to learn that Cindy's favorite drinking game is Circle of Death. And they play Balderdash...JACKPOT for an English lover like myself :)

Then Ami and I watched several episodes of Arrested Development. She's never seen it before and I love bringing converts into the world. We drank wine & pigged out on Reeses pieces (and cheetos & taco bell...).

It was a great night and it feels good to know I have friends in such a new place.

Ladies Night Out

I have a newfound appreciation for a good old fashioned ladies night. Not the type where you set out on the town with a group of ladies all hoping to meet some men, but the ones where you go out with only the intention of having fun with your friends and not eagerly seeking male attention. I was blessed with two of those this past weekend and I havent had that much fun in a REALLY long time. That and I have a newfound drink...The Dirty Martini. It's the only way I can get vodka down & who doesnt love a drink that comes with a snack?

Both nights were spent in Hermosa and we just hopped about never staying in one place for too long. I'm hoping tonight is just as fun.

I've been here with the fam for a week now and I haven't gotten any writing done. There's just too many fun things going on. And I'm seriously hating school right now and wishing I didnt have to go back to class after this vacay. Things better get better next semseter.

12:30 am

I should be sleeping by now but I'm in the middle of so many things. I've been packing, writing, downloading music (Limewire is finally up & runing again after 6 months of not cooperating), and I even booked my shuttle for Wednesday morning.

I'll be in LA for almost 2 weeks. I have so much to look forward to. A few events that stand out are dinner with Jen Wed night, Dominique's party Saturday, dinner with Megan on the 21st, Thanksgiving & time off work, and Megan, RC & Patricks party on the 24th. But I also love the in between time when I can just hang out with the people (and doggy) that I love. I am truly blessed. You realize how much people mean to you when you only get to see them once every so often.

FALL Back

I'm spending an awful lot of time prepping for my family's upcoming visit. I've bought new flannel sheets, a few throw blankets, I've spent $20 doing 4 loads of laundry. And not to mention all the cleaning I have ahead of me. I have to take out several loads of cardboard boxes (yes, I'm still unpacking), about 3 trashbags full of garbage, and I have two huge tupperware containers full of soup that I made that I need to toss. I guess I'm just not that big into soup, (nor am I into juice).

But I think it would make my mother proud to know that after all of her efforts in raising us, she rubbed off on me more than I'd like to admit. If she were reading this, she'd tell me that I didnt need to go to the trouble, that it's only one night, and that they don't care how neat my room & apt are. And I'd answer back with her all too familiar line, "But I care." Emphasis on the I.

I've been looking forward to this visit all week. I know I saw them about two weeks ago, but I just can't wait to have them to MY place. And this is one of my favorite weekends of the year. It isn't fall until we have our weekend at the Baham's.

An Amish Lesson...For Jen

As promised, here is a little background on the Amish. I found the following on a FAQ link on this site: http://www.800padutch.com/atafaq.shtml. There was also information on an Amish wedding...all I can say is bull honkey. I still dont feel like all of our questions have been answered, but this kind of helped put things into perspective. Kind of.


"Why don't the Amish use electricity?"
"Amish people interpret linking with electrical wires as a connection with the world - and the Bible tells them they are not to be "conformed to the world." (Romans 12:2) In 1919 the Amish leaders agreed that connecting to power lines would not be in the best interest of the Amish community. They did not make this decision because they thought electricity was evil in itself, but because easy access to it could lead to many temptations and the deterioration of church and family life.
Most of us today would think it impossible to live without the modern conveniences such as electricity and cars. What makes the Old Order Amish unique is not that they get along without modernity, but that they choose to do without it when it would be readily available. The Amish value simplicity and self-denial over comfort, convenience and leisure. Their lifestyle is a deliberate way of separating from the world and maintaining self-sufficiency. (Amish are less threatened by power shortages caused by storm, disaster, or war.) As a result there is a bonding that unites the Amish community and protects it from outside influences such as television, radios, and other influences."

"Why do Amish men have beards, but not mustaches?"
"There are quite a few scripture that mention beards in the Bible. An example would be Psalm 133:1,2. An Amishman does not shave his beard after he becomes married; a long beard is the mark of an adult Amishman. Mustaches, on the other hand, have a long history of being associated with the military, and therefore are forbidden among the Amish people."

"Is it true that dolls for girls have no faces?"
"Our understanding is that years ago, most of the dolls for little girls were rag dolls without faces. The Amish have retained this custom. We believe the reason is similar to the refusal to have pictures of people and is linked to the second commandment. (Exodus 20:4-6) At an early age children are learning not to have images, likenesses, idols

"I know that the Amish don't own automobiles, but in our area it is common to see them riding in other peoples' vehicles. Some even have made a business of offering rides, for a fee, to them. If the Amish don't believe in owning automobiles, it seems strange that they would ride in them. Seems inconsistent to me. Why is this?"
"Maintaining Amish standards, but accepting some modernization to meet needs of living, requires compromise that must not disrupt the social structure. By rejecting certain types of modernity and accepting others, some Amish appear to the outside world to be contradicting themselves - hypocrites. However, from the viewpoint of Amish culture, there is no contradiction. One of the more pronounced inconsistencies is the use of an automobile...although he may not own a car, a member may accept rides and willingly hires an automobile with a driver to transport him from place to place. There was little hesitation when the Amish decided "no" to car ownership. It would separate the community in various ways. If only wealthy members could afford it, the car would bring inequality. Proud individuals would use it to show off their status, power and wealth. Cars would speed things up dramatically, disrupting the slow pace of Amish living. So, they will use them but not own them, for then things will surely get out of control."

"Do the amish believe in gas power?"
"Yes, the Amish use gas. Bottled gas is used to operate water heaters, modern stoves and refrigerators. Gas-pressured lanterns and lamps are used to light homes, barns and.shops."

Did You Know?

And now for today's Did You Know...

Did You know:

-that ballroom dance competitions are shown on tv? On PBS? On a Friday night? Betcha didn't.

-that Washington insurance policies are rated on credit and whether or not a person has a mortgage on their home? Neither did I. Today was one rough day at the "office" when I realized that the last 25 quotes I've sent out are all incorrectly rated. Really looking forward to those phone calls from angry customers!

-that the recipe for chicken noodle soup called for 64 oz of Fat Free Chicken Broth and not 32 oz? Neither did I. Made for one mean nearly brothless soup.

-not having trick-o-treaters visit your house means one huge bowl full of leftover candy. Not good for the waistline. And it's not mine to throw out (in case you were going to suggest that)... my skinny roommate bought it.

So many lessons...all in one day.

El Dia De Los Muertos

Otherwise known as Mike Riggs' birthday. How do I still remember that after 8 years?

So next Thursday my Mom, Dad & Mary will be driving up here. They'll stay with me in the city Thursday night and then Friday we'll drive to Concord to stay with the Baham's all weekend. My first official visitors!!

I dont get the feeling that Mom wants to stay too long in the city...not sure why. Or maybe she feels that this weekend is about the Baham's and not San Francisco? So I'm hoping they get in early enough so that I can take them to my fave local restaurant Park Chow on 9th & Lincoln. In fact, I plan on taking every single visitor there because they have the best wedge salad in town. Yummm. Oh and everything they have on the menu you can order in small, med, or large...Ive never seen that before. Genius.

I've decided to drop one of my classes...my Tuesday night Lit of Trauma class. It was either drop one or all. I just started feeling extremely overwhelmed to the point that I was reconsidering grad school. I am tired of going to workshop every week only to hear non-stop negativity. These people tear everyones work down and there is rarely a positive thing said. That's not the kind of workshopping I'm used to. And not that I'm used to nice, but these people are mean just for the sake of being mean.

Plus things with my job are getting more hectic and exciting and I'd really rather focus on that for a bit seeing as I've never felt this way about my job before. I'm still up in the air with everything. I registered for two classes next semester and I got my top picks with the best teachers in the program. So if that doesnt change my mind, I think I've got my answer. Here's hoping!

Rosie Thomas lyrics

Another gem I wish I'd written myself. Much better when put to music, but this should suffice...

Gradually

Gradually I will get wiser
I will get stronger
I will be bolder
I will not settle
I will flirt back
I will stand up or
I will sit back

All this time you thought I was
Weak when I was just pretending
I was just pretending
All this time you made me believe that
I should be sorry
I should be sorry

Gradually I will outrun you
I will outgrow you
I will ignore you
I will see clearer
I'll overcome you
I will acknowledge how far I have come
All this time you thought I was weak
When I was just pretending
I was just pretending
All this time you made me believe that
I should be sorry
You should be sorry for making me fall

Gradually I will get older
I will get wiser
I will move slower
I will see clearerI'll over come
I will acknowledge
How far I have come
All this time you thought I was weak
When I just pretending
I was just pretending
All this time you made me believe that
I should be sorry
You should be sorry for making me fall

Halloween (pronounced HOLLOW-een)

Am I the only one who isnt thinking of a Halloween costume? I dont even know what people do up here for Halloween AND it falls on a Wednesday. I am so uncreative when it comes to this day that for the past three years I've been Marilyn Monroe. I wore a different dress each year (who has that many Marilyn dresses? I mean really...) but still. I have no imagination when it comes to Halloween. So I think I'm taking a year off...I feel lame.

Grooming Mishap

I kind of shaved off a patch of my eyebrow. It looks like brow stubble now and its at the very beginning, right about the inner corner of my right eye. Seriously? Who does that?

Still Getting Organized

I finally bought an over-the-door shoe rack yesterday! I can finally get the six cardboard boxes of shoes off of my floor. My room looks huge now. Where can I find a rug that isnt Persian or motherly? Target & Bed Bath & Beyond didnt seem to have what I was looking for. I also got my godmother's writing desk set up and it goes perfectly with my room. It's finally coming together...can't wait for people to see it :)

For The Girl Who Knows Me Better Than All The Rest...

This song played on Grey's and the lyrics made me think of you and how you've been such an amazing friend through it all.

"Life brings change
But my promise is the same
And through these years we've been together
Life has made us grow
But through it all I know
No matter what may come
My heart was made for you forever"

Change Is Gonna Get Ya

I'm off to LA again on Wednesday. Another 3 am-er.

I was really caught off guard last trip to LA because I missed my new home almost daily. And it wasn't any one thing. Maybe its just life and the things I'm dealing with right now. It wasnt that I wanted to get back to SF to escape, but I just started feeling like, for the first time, life was changing around me and I had no control over it. I'm starting not to fit perfectly into my LA life anymore and that's a scary realization. And I know it was bound to happen...I just didnt expect it to be so obvious...I was kinda hoping it would just phase itself away.

I rejoined WW last Monday night. I've been tracking for a straight 2 weeks now and I feel like I'm already losing some. I hope it sticks this time. I've just really got to keep with it. I bought tons of healthy stuff from the store the other day...and its not even processed foods. That in itself is a big change from my first go-round with WW. I'll report back with my first weigh-in.

Ok So I Lied...

I forgot to include this week in my LA tour schedule. Surprise! My boss called me last week and said he was flying me out again. I'm here until Tues morn.

Woke up again at 3 am. Had the worst time falling asleep...I maybe got 2 good hours of sleep. I'm barely hanging on at work...6 more hours until nap time.

Decided to take the same bus route this morning, which drops me off at Powell St right a block from BART. Ran into a guy asking if I wanted to buy his $1.80 ticket off him for $1 - said he needed food and later added that he just got out of jail. I only had a $5. I felt bad...he kept apologizing and I heard an announcement 5 mins later that if you were caught panhandling you'd be kicked out. I'm sure it was a scam but he was so damn convincing.

On a fun note, I met a guy in the elevator who was flying back to Toronto. He'd gotten off on the Muni floor (which I did last trip out). We talked for a bit and he said he was going to stick close to me because I "looked like I knew what I was doing." Hah! I think that makes me a bonafied city girl :)

Tour Dates

In case inquiring minds would like to know...

I'll be back in LA:

October 17th-22nd for D's 40th birthday weekend

and

November 14th-26th for Thanksgiving (it's a long one...you guys will have to put up with me!)

Writer's Block

I should be writing right now - two poems and a paper. And reading an entire book before class tomorrow. But I can't think of a single thing to write. I've found myself seriously questioning my grad school choice lately only because I feel I have so little material. I know it's in there...I just can't get it out in time for class.

So instead I'll talk about the amazing talent, Gunther. PLEASE do not delay in checking out www.Gunthernet.com. You will NOT be disappointed. My roommate's boyfriend, Corey, won two tickets from calling into a radio station and so after researching him, they knew they HAD to invite more people. So six of us rode in a limo (nothing but the best for Gunther!) over to Harrison.

Men everywhere were dressed up in tight blouses and pants, scarves, mullets & pencil-thin mustaches. How were we the last to know? Gunther wowed the crowd for one hour and then Corey's friend Yanni and I snuck off to try and get upstairs to the VIP lounge. We had to meet the wonder! We managed to get through security, make our way upstairs and sneak into the VIP line to have our picture taken with the man himself. And his Sunshine Girls too. People probably waited 2-3 hours in line just to pose with him and we made it to the front somehow and even snuck Corey & Ashley in.

I still can't figure out if this is one big act. I mean...they have a different way of doing things over in Europe and he didnt break character once! Oh...and the entire crowd knew every single word to his songs. Every word. We were seriously underprepared for this event! I'll post pics as soon as I get 'em. Until then, I'll leave you with Gunther's motto," Champagne, Love, Sex & Respect!"

I'm Back...Again

There are many things that people don't tell you about when moving to a big city. For one, the how to's of public transportation. I had a 6:30 am flight to LA last wednesday and because I had to leave the house by 4:30, I couldnt bring myself to ask my roommate to take me to SFO. So, of course, I opted for the bus/BART route. Everyone thought this was such a great idea, and yet no one mentioned to me that buses are very limited before 7 am. But, my roommate came through and found a bus for me.

Now, as one who's only ridden the bus once, it didnt cross my mind that despite having the same route number, there are actually two directions and two very different buses. So after riding along all quiet-like I decided to ask the driver (who did not wait for me to put my money in the machine before taking off like it was Mr Toad's Wild Ride, causing me to stumble and nearly tumble over my suitcase) when we'd be getting to SF State. He kind of laughed and then the pity set in. I was going the wrong direction.

He said since I'd already gone so far off track, that I should just stay on until Market & 4th...aka a VERY shady BART station. Very. So it's now 5:15 in the morning, still dark outside, and I'm all alone except for the bums walking the streets. No BART attendents in sight and I'm left to navigate myself to SFO. After riding the piss-laden elevator three times all to the wrong floors, I finally found my stop. I must've looked frazzled because a homeless man whose face was cut up and had one arm tucked inside his sweatshirt walked towards me and said "It's going to be alright."

I made it onto my flight with 4 mins to spare before they pulled away from the terminal. Even my bag made it to LA despite the many warnings that it wouldnt because of "late check-in." I was up at 3 am and still managed to run late. You see? It's not intentional, its just in my nature.

Sleepy Time

I've never been good about going to bed early enough that I dont sleep in till 11 am if I've got nothing to do the next day. But I do have things - just not work things. And I should be asleep right now. But I'm writing all of you.

Katie's at Del Amo again and she'll be going straight to a rehab center in Pasadena. Insurance covers 30 days, which is great news for my parents. I'm worried that 30 days isn't enough, but I guess that's not something to worry about just yet. My parents have finally reached their threshold and I feel like family therapy helped them get there. At least it helped Mary and I. It's been difficult getting used to living far enough away that I can't give my mom a hug right now and tell her she's doing the right thing. It's easy for me to shut Katie out and bitterly ignore her, but I know it's tearing my mother apart (and father too - he just doesnt show it as much). So that's something I need to work on...being there for people even when I can't physically be there.

On a lighter note, I went to my first ever yoga class at the gym. First ever class, actually. I was nervous about everyone being much more advanced, and they were, but it wasnt a huge deal. I was led to believe that they dim the lights, but no such thing happened tonight so all were on display. I saw many a bare belly! And everyone got a peek at my thong...I wore the wrong pants. I'm going to try a different location and maybe a different class...mix things up a bit. Stay tuned...I know you're on the edge of your seats.

Homeward Bound

I just got home today from my weekend in LA. The only thing I had to look forward to was fog and 60 degree weather. I just about overheated in LA all weekend...how do you people live?

I start work tomorrow...I'm very nervous about it. I have to set up "office" tonight in my bedroom.

I got lost today and found a very cool looking produce market called Fruit Barn. It's one of those all organic places. I dont follow that way of life, but I like to think I blended :)

I came home to a brand new 32" flat screen tv and new shelving in the kitchen in bathroom & hallway closet!! Very exciting. Now we actually get to put our DVR to use.

Okay off to straighten up. So happy I got to see all of my peeps. I'm already planning my next visit!

Lost Girl In The City

I spent over an hour trying to find my way back home from Best Buy. Over an hour. I was lost in a sea of one way streets. Drivers here are much crazier than back home and you'd think that the 405 would've prepared me for this. It is a very scary thing to feel like you've stopped yourself at a red light only to be smack dab in the middle of an intersection/crosswalk. I don't know what red and light green x's mean in lieu of stoplights. I know it has something to do with Muni trains, but I'm this big helpless idiot every time I see a bus because I'm afraid they're going to take me out. And I've been warned consistently that if a bus hits you and they will they say, that they won't stop. They keep plugging along as though nothing happened.

As I'm writing, I'm watching Crazy Sexy Cancer on TLC. It has put me in such a depressed state and I can't bring myself to change the channel. You must tune in...at least once.

Grocery Store Gripe

So I don't know what it is about this town, but they just don't have any of the right groceries! For starters, Safeway was completely out of half gallons of milk. They didn't even have any in the back. How does that happen? They don't carry fat free versions of my muffins, nor do they carry small sugar free or fat free coffee creamers. To make matters worse, they don't have any fat free cheese on hand. Nor my weight watcher eclairs. It's like these people don't diet!

And the Target is just a joke when it comes to groceries. They don't have any freezer space so I can't get my Morningstar corndogs for half price. This has just got to change or I'm going to have to have my stuff shipped in from southern Cal.

So...I'm Here

I'm lying in bed on a Saturday night surrounded in half-opened boxes. I can't bring myself to unpack another one and I'm running out of space. I've only been up north for a week now and already my daily life is drastically different. No work, I sleep in everyday, and I haven't been out to a single bar.

I went to Orientation Thursday night. I was nervous to go it alone, but they had wine at the door so I was fine. Wine at school...ahh yes. I made a friend, Ami, who spent the night telling me how she lives with a woman who has a radio talk show. She's well-known in this area as a "sexpert" and is an author and phone sex operator on the side. I couldnt wait to google this woman and let me just say that the woman has a blog!! Google Virgie Tovar. You won't be let down. I promise.

Packing

I'm packing up my Redondo office today. It's very strange. My boss says to take "anything I think I might need." It feels more like stealing. And where do I really draw the line? Anything I forget I can just buy up in SF and fax them a bill to reimburse me.

For a girl who spent all of her free time as a child playing business, this is a dream come true. My mom says that instead of wanting toys, I used to ask for office supplies and filing cabinets. No, work isn't always fun, but the supplies are what get me through the day.

I.have.issues.

Plug In And Plug Up!

Saw the new place in person today. I LOVE IT. It is so much better in person. My bedroom is my favorite part. That and the winding staircase. Lots of "character" as Denise Lum would say. We signed the lease, paid the first months rent & security deposit and got the keys to 1901 Lincoln Way.

We were very sad to find out that The Dubliner doesnt open until late afternoon...that will have to change! It looks like our new favorite bar and we only have to stumble across the street to make it home after a long night :)

I'm definitely feeling better about the move and Ashley and I had a chance to drive around the neighborhood and find the closest grocery store.

There is one MAJOR issue...the nearest Target is in Daly City. That is NOT acceptable. We couldnt believe that there isnt a Target in San Francisco. So I'll be writing the city to do something about that...

Girl Finds Home

So I got the call today that we're getting the apartment! We didn't really have a Plan B so it was this place or nothing and I'd be the homeless girl in Golden Gate Park with a bed, dresser and 500 cardboard boxes. Pictures will soon follow - I have to fly out Wednesday to see it in person and sign the lease. It's a 2 bedroom one bathroom apartment in a 4 unit building and it has hardwood floors throughout.

There is an Irish Pub across from my bedroom window so my dad is already booking his monthly trips out...he couldn't be more excited about that feature.

The view from the other bedroom window:


Saturday night was my going away bash that Jen planned. Everyone met up at Summers in Manhattan Beach and it really couldn't have been a better night. All of my close friends were there, there were endless amounts of drinks, singing and dancing. I got a chance to say good-bye to everyone. And there were only a few tears (thanks to Jen's toast)!

Seven Days

In exactly one week, I'll be surrounded by boxes in San Francisco. One week. Yes, plans are still in effect even though my roommate and I still are apartmentless. I am very overwhelmed with this entire process and I have barely started to get things organized.

I'd much rather be having dinners & drinks with all of my friends instead of going through boxes and sorting things into piles. I dont want to call the moving company, or paint my china hutch, or cart remaining boxes up to Jen's garage. I'm not ready for this to be real yet.

On a happier note, mark this on your calendar: I've already booked my first flight home for a visit :) I get into LA at 3 on Sat, Sept 1st and I'm here until 11 am Tues, Sept 4th.

New York, New York

I planned on writing while I was in NY, but with Grandma & Grandpa's dial-up connection, I was forced to limit my internet fun (this also explains why I didnt comment anyone back).

And now for the highlights of the trip:

-Grandma's homemade lasagna, cookies, pies and more
-Keuka lake trip with the fam - especially the campfire and music by Andy & Abby
-Cousin's night at Maple Bowl...I'm the newest Hunter Hero according to Pro Buck Hunter - the arcade game. Be afraid. And then the bowling and karaoke to follow. Remember the Macarena? Oh yes.
-Sneaking ice cream with Mom & Mary minutes before having dinner with G & G. Yummm.
-Corning Glass Museum was also fun (until the last hour or so of waiting around) while Mom shopped.

It was somewhat bittersweet because as each vacation day passed, I knew that I was that much closer to having to move away. I've really been struggling with the thought of leaving everyone behind. As much as I agonized over having to share the tiny, creaky double bed with Mary, I knew that it'd be another year before I'd get to share a room with her and in 10 days I'll be seven hours away from her and miserable.

I'm already making plans for future visits home, but I know the first few months will be a struggle for me. I will miss everything about this place. And, of course, all of your beautiful faces.

Starting tomorrow...

These are a few of my favorite NY things...

Yes, these signs are really posted...


The best ice cream EVER chocolate peanut butter (Shelley B will agree!):


And lots & lots of sleeping & family time :)

Total Bust

When looking for apartments, it's important not to read too much into the listings themselves. Cozy = small, hardwood floors = worn & weathered flooring, and bay windows = perfect view of any and every drug deal that goes down in front of your apartment. Oh and small room = former walk-in closet.

While the apartment search this past weekend was a total bust, I did meet my future roommate (Ashley) & her boyfriend (Corey). We even went to dinner at Nick's Crispy and he bought us gals Cosmos and himself a beer. I suffered through the entire cosmo all the while eyeing his beer. It was a nice gesture so I didnt share that I hate anything fruity and vodka-filled.

Out of the seven apartments, only one was worth applying for. I called the owner, Claire, today to follow-up. We didn't get it, despite offering $300 more a month. Boo. It went to the people that applied right before us. Despite not giving the apartment to us, Claire still wanted to be my best friend. She couldn't believe how many people applied and how she needs to rush out and get her real estate license. And somewhere in between telling me we didnt get it and saying good-bye, she managed to get in there how she takes a belly dancing class in Mission. Hmm. I wish I had a picture of fuzzy gray-haired Claire and her husband Sherman Liu so that all of you could visualize this with me. Very disturbing.

And now for some random tips for when you come to visit me:

-Expect to share the I-5 with about 25 dumptrucks FULL of tomatoes, 1 truck full of garlic, and 2 carrying banana peppers. I have no idea where they were being driven, but I have a feeling someone up north is making some serious marinara sauce. Or even salsa.

-Expect High Wind areas & Gusty Winds. The signs aren't lying.

-Drive until you reach Kettleman City...they have an In-n-Out, which is a rare find out on the open road.

-Don't expect to spend less than $12 at Sweet Tomatoes...apparently they don't honor AAA memberships. Bastards.

-Before returning home, get breakfast at McDonald's. They still offer the yummy bagel sandwiches that our McDonalds in Southern Cali got rid of.

Hellooooo All!

Everything I typed up to this point was boring. So I'll just say this...I need a blog to keep you all up to date on my life after I move up north. I have no idea what to expect so you'll have to suffer through the boring posts until I actually make friends :) And no, none of them will ever come close to the friendships I have with all of you.

So here's a quick list of all that I have going on before the big move:

7/20-7/22 - San Fran to apartment hunt & meet future roomie
7/26-8/6 - Jasper trip with Mom& Mary
8/17 - moving :(

Let's make plans!!!