Odd

I'll stop harping on this soon, but I've kind of lost myself in the back & forth lifestyle of LA & SF. I haven't been in any one place too long to feel like I know what's going on with me anymore. When I'm in LA things are always go-go-go. When I'm in SF I have so much alone time that I'm constantly in my head and less a part of the outside world. And I think I appreciate my lifestyle up here because of all the fun that I get to have in LA.

So anyways, I've had a bit of a rough go of this second semester, but it's finally all falling into place. I went to my 14 Hills class tonight and I'm just elated. Basically we're given packets of poems (the fiction peeps get stories) each week and we mark them up and come to the following class either fighting for or against the works & which we'd like to see in the magazine (book). The advising prof (he says we dont actually have a teacher and that we're more like a staff of editors) spent a great deal of time talking about Francois' of the world and how miserable they are. I found myself chuckling like a little girl many a time. What's better is that two people that had that workshop with me are in this class and we all bonded during that moment tonight. I guess the best part about this is realizing that not every class is run the way that workshop was and that clearly that's not the overall attitude of SFSU.

So basically I get to play editor and feel like a teacher, red pen in hand, and discuss the poems weekly but not in a workshopy way. My mother assured me a few nights ago that this class will be a perfect fit because I used to publish class newspapers all in my spare time. I'd completely forgotten that - both in 5th & 6th grade. What an odd little girl I was. What's more is that if I enjoy this class, which I plan to, there's potential for moving up in the ranks - like assistant poetry editor, poetry editor and even editor-in-chief - a paid position. Doesn't that sound like heaven to everyone? I know that's a doubtful assumption so I'll just rest assured that maybe this still is my calling and I won't quit the whole grad school thing quite yet.