Whenever one of us girls would do something we knew we shouldn't have, my mother would ask us, "What are you, a glutton for punishment?" And to answer that today...Yes I am.
I find myself constantly opening & rehashing conversations and events that I really shouldn't waste time dwelling on because they ended up hurting me in some way. I wish it was only that easy for me to end something as soon as I started to feel hurt or mistreated and not look back.
Ellen recently told a guest on her show that when doors close on us its the universe's way of telling us not to take that path, that for some reason we're not yet aware of, it isn't the way we're supposed to live out our life. And I've carried this thought with me recently and when I begin to dwell or feel sorry for myself, I try to think of her saying that (to me personally of course since we're the best of friends) and I drop it.
So for the sake of my own sanity, I made a decision tonight and because I knew I wouldnt stick to it on my own, I "deleted" them from my (myspace) life. What good is it doing me if it's only continuing to make me upset? Why have I been choosing to reopen this wound when I know I am much better off without this individual in my life?
Maybe Mother does know best and I truly am a glutton for punishment.
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4 comments:
I don't know why you and I both do this to ourselves. We always have too... we just stick with something - and just stay there until it couldn't possible get any worse - and even then we don't leave??? I've never understood why I don't have more strenght to just let things be - but latley you have and that's something I so admire. Even this deletion from myspace life, at least it severes all tighs - and hopefully moving on and growing up will become possible once again.
I think we all do this. It's hard to let go of things that are so comfortable, even when we know it's best. You and Jen are both very strong women and I look up to you for your courage.
A friend of our wrote us and said that you'd mentioned Alese in your blog. Although Alese's life on earth was short, she lived life to the fullest even under the most challenging of circumstances. She would encourage you to do two things in life. First, follow your dreams and pursue them with unwavering passion. Second, Fight 2Win. No matter what your do in life, Fight 2 Win.
Blessings,
The Coco's
growing up is so hard. i agree with michelle that you and jen are doing amazing jobs teaching the rest of us some lessons through your honesty and experiences.
i loved your comment about christmas on jen's blog. i'm a huge fan of yours and can't wait for you to meet jonas? will you be around when we're there.
xxx
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